Failure

Have u ever failed before?

I have, so many times... but yesterday was really a failure.

I've never felt so disappointed before, even when a favorite university rejected me for 3 times, it never felt as bad, bitter, shameful as my feelings yesterday. It's awful.

But nothing goes in vain. Lessons learned.
Besides the fact that I was very devastated about it, this, too, is the first time I felt that it's some kind of  like God's plan the way Christians say it despite what religion or beliefs I have.

Generally, it's like the whole things happened around me recently were knitted together perfectly and it gives me some kind of answer. I won't call it an absolute answer, but it will determine what I'll do on taking my next steps.

I was so into "Change" recently. I've never paid too much attention to this song before.
I was confused for long on what style I should do on my projects which are recruited by others.
I had an unfinished project that I started to work on during the holiday.

After that night,
The unfinished project came to finalization.
I think I know what style I would play.
and it feels like "Change" gave me courage and have prepared me a cushion before the blow hit me.

And of course, I'm LUCKY that all my project-mates are very very very truly supportive.
And I'm so grateful for that.
Thank you, my new friends.

To everyone who've helped me out, even though you don't even know it,
"I can't thank you more"
"that I've stood up once again"

Can you feel it now?

Oh darling, don't you ever grow up...

Remember I've told you that I went for a retreat?
But this time I'm not gonna talk about it yet. It's my and my Mom's visit to Auntie's house I wanna talk about.

We came to visit Grandma and at that moment I had just found that my cousin has been suffering from some kind of illness. It saddened me so much. How could u stand the constantly inexplicable pain on your back?
He just lay down on bed, curled his feet up, and fidgeted somehow to ease the pain.

No, he didn't smoke, he's a perfectly fine young man. But I'm amazed with his endurance. He smiled, greeted me gracefully as if nothing happened, but I could tell that he's in great pain because he curled up his body and fidgeted.

Now that he's back from his medication trip (is that how u call it?) at Penang, I really hoped that he will someday be fully recovered. Yeah, we must be optimistic! =) You can do it! Just never give up! =) I will pray for you.. =)

Anyway, during the visit, I also played with little Audry, my cousin's sister's daughter. Look how much she's grown!
Everyone was busy and so I took this chance to play with her.. =)

she played as a chef? haha and I played as an ever loyal customer! Lol! xD
btw, sweet soya sauce? is that correct? hahaha...

She's just 5 years old (I think), and look how well she speaks English! I don't think I know a single English word when I was 5!

She learned how to take videos! and she caught it very fast! =o wow!

Let's tidy things up! good girl! (I'm sorry if you found that my accent is a bit funny through out the videos! hahaha!)

This is the age when the kids are at their cutest and purest and learn a lot about you and the world, a very crucial moment. I believe every parent would like to treasure these moments a lot!

I'm sorry Mom, Dad, I realized that I was not cute or fun at all! I was quite hard to be taken care of! But you did with all your heart anyway.. Thank you with gratitude and respect.  _/|\_

"Wish I'd never grown up
Could still be little
Oh I don't wanna grow up
It could still be simple"

Let this be just forever a wish, because life must go on, or else if it's not, then something must have gone wrong! Haha! xD

But, still...

It's sweet to think like that..

a very touching song by TS, Never Grow Up.. =') it represents my little thoughts of never grown up.

That's all for now, good nite..

Curly Haired Girl's Story

Hey everyone! It's been a while (again!) that i did not tell u anything! Haha! Please pardon me, I have a lot of projects to be done..

Okay, now I will try to update you on what's happening starting from last semester! (oh gosh! I have not written anything since then!)

and it's starting with hair.One of significant changes that I've made! haha.. xD

Yes, this is how my hair looks like now.

Boo! scare u with my pedsodent teeth!

  

hair, tied up

Many people asked, "Hey, is that natural?", "Do u use any curling iron?", "did you have it permed?" etc etc.

Rite, last time my hair was straightened when I first started my uni life, that's why not many people know that my hair is actually curly.

my school girl look

with full bangs! I looked so freaking young! or at least that's what I think!

side-swept bangs

Yeah, the younger-looking effect and easy to take care of are the top 2 reasons why I like straight hair.

But I thought it's time to get the curls back as I watched Taylor Swift's add below:



I was like crap man! that's how it feels like.. "He liked a cool girl, and she had straight hair!"
That's the whole point! People think that naturally curly hair is uncool. Oh well at least, I had bought into that idea for a long time, especially during my high school years.

I also happened to read blogs and watch videos on how to manage and style curly hair. I was overwhelmed with the feeling and the connection that I understand very much with all the girls with curls! T.T  (Haha! xD, but it's true!)

One thing I realized is that all this while, I had been taking care of my curly hair as other straight hair girls do. Well, that's just NOT the way! It works for them, but not for us who have curly/wavy hair.

And one night (fuyohhh.. hhahha), I decided that i would have my curls back!
As time passed by, my hair grew longer, and the curl started to appear, but the edge was still straight.
That's the only part that I have it permed.

Okay, so here is the secret. After I've washed my hair, I apply this cream and twist the strangles of hair with my finger, yes, as simple as that.

the Loreal spiral splendour cream which saves the day!

Well as I don't have too much time to spend on my hair, I stop until that step, and let my hair be air-dried.

There's another way actually that u might try! You could use a long finger diffuser, to keep it simple (haha, I actually do not know that much about this coz i have not tried to explore more about it yet =P), just call it diffuser.

So instead of blowing your hair with hair-dryer that will make your curly hair go frizzy an bushy, it will gently blow your hair and keep your curls intact. So here it is:

this is one of the videos that I've come across. go to 2:16, that is called a diffuser. =P

Well that's it! That's how I get my hair. I hope this can help out all girls with curls! We still can survive without having it permanently straightened! =)

Of course there are times when my hair gets messy. I mean oh! c'mon who in the world never had a bad hair day before? =P So cheers girls! =) You're pretty just the way you are!

Oh my, I've mentioned Taylor Swift a lot! Alright, enjoy one of her songs, Change. =D

Bye~~~

See u again! =D Tha.. Tha...

PS. And if you ever wonder that why our curls are not as pretty as TS's or any other singers' or actresses', do remember one point: they have A LOT of professional stylists to help them out! So be proud! =)

I'm back here in msia

Hey!

I'm back here in msia.. I couldn't really be online when I was back in Indonesia.
First, the internet and the lappie were not so convenient to use.
Second, I'd rather lazying around in front of TV, pampering myself with home-cook and street food, and of course being with my mom and dad.. =)


I'm going to the bank very soon.. will share with u what I've done during the holiday when i'm free.. =)
Geez, I still have alot of things to handle before I can freely said I'm free to blog.. =s

Anyway, I hope u be well and happy always! =)



I also updated myself with new Hitz from home country.. Enjoy "Cinta dan Benci" by Geisha! =)

Hi Blog! =3

It's been a while since I last updated u! =)but let me tell you this, It's a been a busy semester, and I've tried alot of things!
one of it: hehehe.... *shy* being an i.gemz-er!!! oh gosh, how cool is that? =3
will update you with things in my mind, but can only do that when I reach Medan, kay? cause I'm having an endless outings here! hahaha...xD

I'm broke, man! hahaha..xD

c u in a while!
Hopefully will get some peace and serenity during upcoming meditation retreat in Bogor! =)

with love (and excitement.. *woot! holiday*),
Devi

Btw, I'm gonna watch this soon! =)

Shaolin

"A very Buddhist film!" ~ Fransisca Wijaya

"Very nice, you will cry a lot!" ~Max Han

"Worth-watching, a must watched film!" ~Syuangelia

"Sip!!! " *thumb up* ~ Heri

"A so-so movie, too much unnecessary fight," ~Amelia Ng

After asking for reviews from those who had watched the movie, Shaolin, I decided to watch the movie.... err.. Okay, to be honest, brother Heri (yes, the Heri who said "sip!!!" from earlier), had been distributing free movie tickets to his friends, and lucky me to be one of his friends, I was given 1 free movie ticket for Shaolin! Yahooooo~~~ so, I was gonna watch the movie anyway regardless of the reviews. =P

Finally watched this movie yesterday night with Sinnah, met Edi and Erwin too!
Well, as for me Shaolin is...

"A heart-breaking, touching film, yes, true, you can feel very keen the teachings, principles and perspectives of Buddhism. One message which I thought the movie wanted to imply was taken from a verse in Dhammapada. Which verse?

Hatred never ceases through hatred in this world; through love alone they cease. This is an eternal law. -The Buddha"

Free Time

Hello! =)

Sorry for not updating for so long~~~
I thought if I had reached to Malaysia early, I would have so so so so so much free time, and blog.
But then, this very coming Wednesday's afternoon, only will I have a gap in my schedule, and the gap will be called "Free Time".

It's not particularly free time though, because there are still some important things to be done, like writing letter to the Ministry, Finishing reading the Cashflow Quadrant, copying pasting my friend's notes, jogging in the morning (replaced by walking here and there a lot!) and arranging my data, and not to mention, studying which I always plan to do during holiday this past 2 semesters but never been done, and looks like that it won't ever be done for this holiday too.

Monday, the 7th
- running to M-University to extend my visa after putting my luggage and hand-carry box in the new unit. Btw, I have moved to a new one.
- met a friend who has the same case, and we had lunch together afterward. PS. this is the first time I have effectively talked to him for more than 1 minute LIVE xD... and hey! not all medic students are scary... Hahaha...
- shifted my things from the previous unit to the new one ALONE, and I am proud of that! Truly! =D

 sorry, u can only see my working table with the "wires"

Tuesday, the 8th
- went to the bank
- shopping for the new unit
- unpacking things


Wednesday, the 9th
- visited to a skin specialist with Guran
- passed by pyramid, continue shopping for the new unit and semester's needs
- Birthday dinner with the two boys
- continuing unpacking things, and try so hard to arrange, and hide it.

we've finally seen him, the famous Dr. Ranjit Singh! =)

with the two birthday boys @Kim Gary, held a small ice-breaking dinner before the others are arrived.

Thursday, the 10th
- special day dedicated only to fully unpack things, and arrange them.

Friday, the 11th
- went to 1U with my uni besties, ended up buying a new specs, and had the cheapest lunch ever! hahaha xD
- (Planned not to go, but then going after big boss's calling) attending Potluck and Yusheng for CNY celebration with SJBAYS.
-  visited Eveline's unit at Suriamas, it's quite a distance from where we had pot luck, but with friends, it became shorter somehow... =)

this is my first time having this traditional food, Yu (Fish) Sheng. *ouch* where am I looking at? I should be targeting the Yu (prosperity) Sheng (abundance).

 love the crowd, the joy, the food, and the wall of course!! =)

I must admit that I MISS being in this family! the feeling just hit me after so much laughter and companionship.

Saturday, the 12th
- continuing arranging things, yeah rite, i'm having quite a hard time and putting my bestest skills to hide all this stuff in such limited unseen space.
- visited Lunch Box, and had a long *girl-talk* with the owner.. =P
- attending the reunion dinner with the old folks from Persatuan Kebajikan Ci-Hang Chempaka Old Folk Home, having so much fun here!

 the lion dance fascinated the little kids so much! <3

the 20-minute preparation drama

it's about the history of the celebration of CNY, chasing the "nian" away with bamboos

The SJBA singing choir

 

 Cai Shen (God of Wealth) dao (is arrived)!

cheering up the old folks and the audiences

shaking their hands while "Cai Shen Dao" song are sung by the choir

The TarraBuddY representatives: Fransisca, Alex, Devi, Hartono

Sunday, the 13th
- went to the temple (made brother Edi to wait for me for so long... I'm so so sorry.. doing my best to change this bad habit)
- went to Pasar Malam with sister Sisca and Dolly, bought some fresh food with cheap price!
- helped sister Syu2 cleaning and unpacking stuff, coz she's moving too...

 and had experiment to do the messy up-do in between my time

Monday, the 14th
- accompanied Syu2 to the college and went to pyramid for a while and had Honeymoon dessert there.
- updated blog! =P

Anyway people, that's all for today, coz I still need to get ready for tomorrow's event: Bai Nian around my classmates' houses! =))) Hohohoho... "Wo men dao!"

Oh, it's Valentine's Day, enjoy this song, "Celebrate Our Love" by A1!
Why is my email celebrate_our_love@hotmail.com? remind me of my true love? first crush? NO NO!
It's simply because of this song! =)

A1 in Japan! Happy Valentine's Day! Let's celebrate our love to the world! =)

Photos are taken by: me!, Jeremy Kuan, Hartono, and Tan Pei Hao