The Bottom line

As I saw people in the street, our happy maid even though she's not at the top of her health now, an ever supportive mom and through all internal experiences, contemplation and processes, this line strikes me:

"If with the same flawed face you can get the same happiness as others, why grieve?"

Now, the girls from before are in their way to be women.

The Girl in the Mirror

It hurts me looking at all those scars on the girl in the mirror,
to the point that I suggest her a plastic surgery.
I can't be sure whether it's because of a delayed treatment, an irresponsible hands of a 'supposedly' professionals, or just a mere recklessness.
That's why I can't  really comfort her not to blame herself or just curse the irresponsible.
Well, it's just too late...
It just hurts me to see the girl in the mirror hurts...
When she cries, I cry too...
We're only girls after all.

Terrible Health Services

Dear Readers,

I've come home for almost 1 month, and heard from Dad, Mom, relatives and our friends about their experiences and my own with health services in Indonesia. Terrible, it is..
how the GP does not take notes all the patient's history.
how unprofessional and non-hygienic the clinical test is.
how easy consumers may get certain prescribed medicines.
how the cashier staff at the front office may have dual job to explain what the medication does.
how the consumers blindly follow the unprofessional treatment...
and the one who's responsible for it is just not responsible for it...

Terrible, huh? It terrifies me.
I hope we can serve better soon.. before anyone suffers from these unfortunate incidents.

1-20 to do list

Dear Readers,

It's been in a while that I have not stayed up late and been online for a long time, well, it's good! =)

A bit late  Holiday To Do List:
1) finishing off The Cashflow Quadrant by Robert T. Kiyosaki that I've just started
2) If I have time, I'll read other books by him too
3) finish all the application stuff
4) go to Higher Ministry of Education at Jakarta
5) sleep early, wake up early
6) exercise regularly (fail TT, keep trying)
7) pay more attention to quality time with myself
8) meditate regularly (fail- but keep trying~)
9) cook more, eat more (eat yes, cook I wish)
10) re-learning Mandarin (in the process)
11) watch eat pray love (done =) finally sth is done! )
12) go to singing class (need to wait till Jan)
13) go to several health check-ups tour (half done)
14) go to violin class (canceled)
15) tidy up files in my lappie (starting)
16) study, revise the medicine in profile (just cannot get my fingers flipping thru it)
17) set up the web cam thingy to our family PC
18) driving
19) joining Tzu Chi's humanitarian works, get a part-time jobs, etc, etc, etc
20) growing up,,,

'Coz I'm 20 now, and I think It's time to step out from my dormant mental phase, and grow up.

Dear Readers,

I'm fine now.. =)
Thank you!

Hugs,
Devi

Dream

Dear Readers,

Remember, I wrote a post with the same title "Dream"?
Last time, I wrote about how happy and contented a guy that I've come across during exam time period?
He said It's his dream to do what he's doing now.

I'm kind of envious of him.
What will you feel when your dream is crushed to pieces that you can no longer pursue it?
I wanna be the buddy during the upcoming transition camp, meeting all the juniors.. seeing the determination in their eyes..
I've told YY that I finally wanna take performing arts as the next sem club..
I've told A that I will re-read the medicine in profile to make sure I know them well..
I wanna see the big screen that we will use next year..
I wanna play that part, the cheerful friend they once knew...
I've finally found where I belong..
I've finally found my pride..
when I'm finding myself.. no more...

It hurts so much... It hurts...

Now, thinking back, when this song was played till it stayed in my head for few days, It might try giving me some premonition, "that I can't breathe without it, but I have to."

Little Getaway Project

Dear Readers,

Finally, I can feel a bit of holiday atmosphere after some time.. 

Geez, my long holiday becomes shorter, and shorter, you see:

This is my ideal holiday:

21 days of Nov + 31 days of Dec + 31 days of Dec + 27 days of Feb = 113 days

The time that should be holiday, but they are not due to some reasons:

21 days of Nov + 5 days of Dec + 19 days of Feb = 45 days

Days left:

113 days - 45 days = 68 days

Oh man!!! I have wasted so much time of my holiday not dedicating to my mental and physical health, like I promises to my body during exam time... TT (guilty...)

Haha, u might say.. hey, u still have 68 days left!!! which means 2 months and 6 days left!!! It's still a long holiday! yeah i know, but the fact that the time is running so fast, I've just realised that I have been nagged by the problem for 21 days! 21 days of being depressed, worried, lost of self-worth, and the rest you don't wanna know..

the funny part is that in other part of the world, or in the village nearby, by 21 days, the eggs must have been hatched! and the healthy little baby chicks come out and ready to see the world! haha...

The thing I wanna say is that: the world is still spinning 'round! It's not the end of the world... yet!

And so me too, I shall never give up... and I'm quite lucky that I have family, relatives, friends, teachers, academic staff, and everyone giving me support... I thank you from the bottom of my heart...

Anyway, about the project... Haha.. I'm so addicted with Tangled that I watched few days ago, the Rapunzel's When will my life begin reprise by Mandy Moore is so.. NICE! Mandy is just right voicing Rapunzel! =)

Btw, this is the song that I've recorded.. I give u a WARNING! If you cannot take a not-so-ear-friendly voice, don't even try listening to this... or you will curse me the rest of your life! and I don't want that to happen~~~ =P

Sorry about the first video, hope this one won't torture your ear that bad and forgive for my technology-dummy character, i don't know how to edit the video... TT and oh! the original version by Mandy Moore, u've gotta hear it! It's AWESOME!

All right people, I'm going off.. still lots of things needed to be tidied up, and packed.... Bye~~~